It happened.

Never in my wildest dreams, did I think shitting my pants in my 30's was even a possibility. Well. dreams do come true. This "healing" phase is lot different than I imagined, I honestly don't know what I expected...essentially, they use a laser beam to fry your insides, what's the worst that could happen? Yeah, I expected the pain (and there is a lot of it). I expected the tiredness. I expected the gas and bloating. But, I didn't expect the surprise of not knowing or sensing that you had to go to the bathroom. The other day, on my big outing to the drug store, I got into the passenger side of the car, and as the car was pulling out of the driveway, it happened. I wasn't prepared at all, to say the least. I slithered out of the car (careful not to make it worse by letting my ass touch the seat), and ran into the house. Remember when I said that wearing a shower bonnet and bubble boy arm sleeve made me feel sexy? Well, this incident surpassed that by infinity. My poor partner...oh my god. Thankfully, I didn't get any on the seat (only on my coat, which I'm debating throwing into a fire pit). Lesson learned here - just wear a fucking diaper. Just wear it. Don't be too "cool" to wear it, or think "I don't need this". Trust me, you do need it. These are the things that happen while you "heal", so just embrace it, use a diaper, and move on. Don't think I'm not embarrassed, because I'm mortified. But I want to help others to find humour in these fucked up situations - if it happens to you too, don't worry. It's ok! Now you know, it happens to everyone at some point in life. Maybe you'll be in your 90's when it happens, maybe in your 20's or 30's...but it happens to all of us, so let's move on.