Remember when I told you that there was a residual polyp left over from radiation? Well, I'm getting it taken out next week. I honestly think that it would've gone away on its own eventually, but I guess they want to make sure they get everything. At first, they wanted to remove the scar tissue as well, but then I learned that it would be a lot more invasive than I originally thought. Hell no. Lucky for me, my surgeon said he thinks that just the polyp removal would be needed. I'm messed up psychologically and emotionally. I thought that I was done with this, and that I would just be monitored and poked every few months. That was too easy, I guess. I am so grateful that I avoided major surgery, so I do feel "lucky" in that sense, but I am so totally over all of this shit. I have to keep telling myself that I just need to get through next week, and I will be okay. I just hope that I can go back to some sort of "normal" soon. I keep telling my therapist that I feel like this was all a huge mistake. Like, maybe they mixed up my test results, and I never really had cancer. I am still in shock, and can't believe it happened to me. I'm trying to forget the past several months, and focus on the future...will this all just seem like bad dream one day? I wonder if we can ever really forget? I hope so.
ACD
Comentarios