The summer of "me"

I've been enjoying the last few months. Trying to make the most of every day, enjoying the sunshine, and warmth of the summer. To be honest, it feels as if this year never happened at all. It will be exactly one year on September 1st, when I had my colonoscopy, and my life changed forever. I think back to last summer...so innocent, so carefree. I had no clue what what was about to happen. I am so incredibly grateful that I feel so good. It's truly as if nothing ever happened to me, and if all of that suffering and pain didn't happen at all. It's what I would call a “miracle”. Unfortunately, my partner and I lost a friend in July. She was an amazing human being, and her soul truly touched so many people over the years. This was very apparent at the funeral. The thing about her, was that she lived her life to the fullest. She traveled the world, often alone, and just did everything she wanted to do in life. I think that she's looking down at us and saying "I have no regrets". This is the kind of life I want for myself. I want to know that if I die today, that I would have had no regrets. I would want to tell everyone how much they mean to me, and to know that I appreciated as many good days as I possibly could. Don't get me wrong, we all have shitty days. I know my shitty days are far from over, but I now notice when I have a good day...and now I just try to appreciate that feeling a little more. My next scan is in mid-October, and I know the nerves will creep up on me closer to the date. I hear this feeling of nerves/fear doesn't really ever go away...but I hope to feel more comfortable with the unknown as time passes.