The waiting game

There's nothing to do but wait. I am doing/have done everything I can think of to make sure I get rid of this thing. I don't know what else I can do, at this point. I am left alone with my thoughts, fears, and anxiety about what my life will look like in the future. Good news, is that I found a great therapist, and I met with her (virtually) last week. I keep thinking, on one hand, I feel good now, so should I be living it up now while I have the chance? Or does "living it up" mean hurting my chances of recovery? I know I can't really do much, but I'm scared about regretting not being "free" while I had the chance. I am feeling great, by the way. No pain, and eating normally again. I'm so thankful for this feeling. Anyways, the waiting game is in full swing...and I really don't know what will happen, and what my options will be when they reveal my results. I do believe that I will be fine, but sometimes the fear and doubt creep into my mind, and I have scary visions of the future. I don't want to have these visions...which often include me living in fear for the rest of my life, or visions of me having a permanent colostomy bag (this is probably the most scary thing). I am trying to push this out of my mind, and also trying to embrace my bio-energy teachings, and truly believe that my body will heal itself. I will treat this like an affirmation or a mantra, and keep saying that I will be okay. I will have the answers I need in a few weeks...until then, I will wait.