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Week 2. Gambling.

I hate gambling. I get so stressed out, and I can't stand the thought of losing everything...or anything at all. I mentioned in my last post that I am having serious night sweats. EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. It started last Monday (the first day that I started taking Xeloda chemo pills and the first day of radiation). The plan is to take the pills twice a day from Monday to Friday on the days that I get radiation, and then take a break on the weekends. During the day, I am fine (a few chills here and there). At night, I either can't sleep at all, or I wake up several times a night in cold sweats. At first, I thought that it just my body getting used to the pills and that this would go away after a day or so. I'm now on week two, and it's still happening every night. I asked my radiologist if this could be perimenopause (which I knew was a side effect), and she said that there's no way it would start this early on in treatment. Then what the F is going on??? She spoke with the oncologist and he called me that evening. Apparently, these severe night sweats are a "very unusual" side effect of this medication, and that he's not sure what's going on with me. He advised me to stop taking it in case it's doing "more harm, than good". I told him that I would suffer through this for four weeks if it meant that my treatment wouldn't be delayed, or my prognosis wouldn't change. He told me that there are no guarantees, and even if I suffered through this for weeks, it might not make a difference in the end. So, basically, I am to decide what to do. Should I keep sweating every night and feeling like I have the flu (this also keeps me awake for hours), for the possibility that the medication might improve the outcome? Or should I stop the pills in case they are doing more harm than good? I really think it might have something to do with my diabetes. I still feel like there is little to no knowledge about cancer and type 1 diabetes and how to manage these two diseases together. I find almost nothing on the internet, and I also can't find any info about xeloda and diabetes (type 1) interactions or patient experiences. It seems as if only 1% of people who have cancer, also have type 1 diabetes, which makes me feel like a lab rat. I didn't take the pills this morning, and I have an appointment with the oncologist next week, so hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight without sweats. Maybe my body is telling me to stop...or maybe it's telling me to suck it up and deal with it... I don't want to gamble.

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